Self-control is the ability to have restraint over one’s emotions, thoughts, desires, and behaviors. You probably have heard the expression “ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING.” For it is your demeanor, attitude, or how you react in any given situation that really defines who you are as a person, despite the circumstance!
Simply put, make the best of every situation that presents itself in your life with a positive, selfless, loving attitude.
Here are a few examples:
Situation 1: You agree to give a friend a ride even though your schedule is very tight, but then you complain the whole way there that you should have never agreed to take them and its messing up your whole day. Maybe you did overextend yourself that day, but having a negative, abrasive attitude is totally unnecessary and certainly won’t change the circumstances. Guilt tripping your friend to blow off some steam is certainly not the right approach. When you extend a favor to someone do it with compassion and a smile, or just opt not to extend yourself. By becoming conscious and aware of your thoughts and how you handle yourself in these types of situations, you can work to change the way you react, illuminating positive energy, expanding your consciousness, and becoming a better person as a result!
Situation 2: If someone rear ends you in a fender-bender, you can and should feel upset, even if no one is hurt. However, shaming the individual, cursing, and perhaps instigating a physical altercation shows a lack of self-control, a poor attitude, and is far from a conscious approach. The right attitude or approach would be to feel the shock and discontentment, release it, accept what happened, be grateful that no one is physically harmed, then proceed with calmly interacting with the other party. Being grateful steers you away from the trap of victimization and self-pity. You can also gain clarity in the big picture and learn from the experience, as everything happens for a reason.
Habitual negative reactions, or over-reacting with a poor attitude exemplifies life’s negative circumstances getting the best of you and a loss of control. With this negative perspective and life approach you are in for a drastic roller coaster ride of ups and downs, only experiencing temporary happiness when things are going well at best. Having no control over your negative emotions is damaging in all situations, needlessly distresses others and prevents you from being truly happy. Remember, self-control is the fruit of the spirit. It takes a great deal of awareness and self-discipline to nail these principles down, but the benefits are invaluable to you and those around you!
Follow these helpful steps to increase your awareness-peace:
- Practice assessing any given situation. Think things through and try to “pause” before unconsciously over-reacting to misdirected pent up negative emotions. To change the way you feel about any situation, you must first change the way you think about it.
- Accept the circumstance knowing that things happen for a reason even if you can’t see that reason right away. Acceptance allows for healing to take place.
- Proceed with an attitude of gratitude knowing that how you react impacts you and everyone around you. Universal law states that whatever you put out there comes back to you. Extend love and compassion and the Universe responds accordingly. What goes around comes around is a very valid statement!
Having the right attitude can make for a much smoother ride in this life. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, a well-known American self help author and motivational speaker, reinforces the importance of having the right attitude and dichotomy of the same experience, “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.”
Buddha talked about the negative effect of having the wrong attitude and indulging in negative emotions, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”